The Dragon Ball Z franchise is arguably one of the most well-known franchises around. It was a massive pop culture phenomenon and the onboarding point for many anime fans, so it created a legacy of its own. Dragon Ball Z has a special place in most of our hearts for this reason. That, and how it spawned so many memes and fan-driven responses. Yes, we’re talking about Dragon Ball Z Abridged (DBZA). DBZA was created by Team Four Star and is an abridged and more comical take on the events solidly locked into our memories. Naturally, this means that there are just as many quotable moments.
To say that DBZA went above and beyond would be the understatement of the century. Team Four Star took the massive works of Dragon Ball Zedited them down, added their own lines (not to mention their own spin), and created their own legend in the process. While we always recommend supporting the original product and authors, DBZA is a fantastic way of re-experiencing the original in a new light. To quote Team Four Star: “This is a parody. Please support the official release.”
10) “We Do However Find It Hilarious”
“We here at Team Four Star do not condone child violence, we do, however find it hilarious.”
-Kaiserneko from Team Four Star
We might as well start this list with a quote from one of Team Four Star’s personalities, as this disclaimer pops up very early in DBZA. The quote appears as Raditz is approaching Gohan, with the clear intention of beating up a very small child on screen. It’s the sort of thing that wouldn’t fly outside of animated features.
Before Raditz can do much more than shout, the screen gets paused, allowing Kaiserneko to pop in a very important disclaimer. They’re just editing the scenes here, not adding child violence for fun. That said, they still find it hilarious (in this context), so the scene continues.
9) “Why Didn’t You Dodge!”
“Why… Didn’t… You… Dodge!”
-Piccolo to Gohan
Fans of DBZA know that there are several running jokes throughout the series, from jokes that openly acknowledge Goku’s parenting style (or lack thereof) to Gohan’s complete inability to dodge. Screaming at Gohon to “dodge” becomes a full-time job for the team, especially poor Piccolo.
It all begins when Piccolo forcibly takes over training for Gohan, and well, things go predictably bad. One of the lessons he tries to instill in Gohan is the ability to dodge. This all comes to a head when Nappa sends a fatal attack Gohan’s way. While the child arguably had time to do anything (including dodging), he just watches the attack come his way. Instead of letting the child take the hit, Piccolo hops in and takes the hit himself, leading to this memorable quote.
8) “I Can Tell the Difference!”
“You’re not meditating, you’re napping. I can tell the difference!”
-Nail to Piccolo
One of the biggest and longest-running changes DBZA made to Dragon Ball Z has to do with Nail. We all remember how Piccolo used a forbidden technique to effectively absorb Nail and his energy. It was meant to give him a temporary boost, complete with Nail’s temporary presence within Piccolo’s mind.
The thing is, Nail never goes away in DBZA. He actually gets company later on, but that’s a different story. By keeping Nail around, DBZA opened the door to lots of internal conversations and jokes. One such joke would be Nail calling Piccolo out on all the time he’s spent “meditating.” Since he resides within Piccolo’s mind, he would be in the right position to tell the difference.
7) “Find Me In the Alps”
“Son of a gum-chewing funkmonster! Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me? Forget my life! Always surrounded by miserable failing clods, like this whole world just likes to bend me over and find me in the Alps! Like I’m some sort of schlop receptacle.”
-Vegeta
One of Vegeta’s most memorable tirades is highly censored in its original appearance, leaving fans to assume that it is a swear-laden string of words. However, the uncensored version plays at the end of the episode, and boy, did things not go the way we expected. We want to give Vegeta credit for being clever, but he probably isn’t intentionally avoiding curse words; that’s not his style.
Notably, “find me in the Alps” originates from The Big Lebowskibut it’s still hilarious to see it appear in DBZA. Obviously, this line comes back at least once more in the series, because it’s too hilarious to leave sitting on the table. How many fans do you think quoted this line for years following the original release?
6) “Been Studying Theoretical Physics”
“I’ve been studying theoretical physics, although at this point I guess it’s just physics.”
-Gohan
Poor Gohan faces very different types of pressure from both of his parents. One wants him to be the smartest person around, while the other wants him to be the strongest. Both have good intentions for their child (probably), but it’s still a lot of pressure to deal with.
DBZA makes a lot of references to Gohan’s studies, usually resulting in somebody screaming “nerd” at the child. Then there are times like this, in which Gohan casually mentions what he’s been studying. In this case, theoretical physics. It’s a little hard to claim they’re theoretical when one is seeing them in action, hence the commentary.
5) “Gonna Sue Somebody”
“I think Ridley Scott’s gonna sue somebody.”
-Piccolo to freeza
Freeza’s (aka Freezer) appearance was one of the earliest threats Goku and crew faced, and he really pushed them all to their limits. Many favorites died in the process, and that was before Freeza began to take his next forms.
Notably, we’re here to talk about Freeza’s third form, which looks alarmingly like a specific alien race from Ridley Scott’s franchise. Since DBZA is all about the jokes, this series wasn’t afraid to let Piccolo break the fourth wall and call a spade a spade. Or in this case, call out the alien for being an Alien.
4) “Sounds Disappointing”
“I Do Not Know What This Yamcha Is… But It Sounds Disappointing.”
-Super our teacher to Krillin
Things get delightfully chaotic once the crew finds their way to Namic. One of the new running gags for this arc is how Super Kami Guru can unlock the potential of others, should he feel so inclined. Does he feel inclined to give Nail a boost? Of course not! However, he’s fine with the idea of giving Krillin a boost.
We’d say that Krillin really needs that boost, but Super Kami Guru quickly made it clear that Krillin’s unlocked potential is, well, the kind way to describe it would be limited. Hearing this, Krillin immediately compares himself to Yamcha, resulting in this vicious line. What are the odds that Yamcha felt this one in the afterlife?
3) “Muffin Button”
“Muffin button”
-Goku
Remember how we mentioned that there are several running jokes in DBZA? One such joke revolves around muffins, believe it or not. The “Muffin Button,” as it has been dubbed, first appears in “No Country for Old Namekians,” as Goku is finally making his way to Namek, courtesy of Dr. Briefs’ spaceship.
While the spaceship was reportedly not finished or ready for this trip, it did come with the muffin button, a button that Goku absolutely abused on his trip. The larger concern is that Dr. Brief didn’t install this button. It also somehow may or may not have helped with Goku’s training, but that’s a whole different can of worms. Ultimately, the words “muffin button” were uttered so much that it became an inside joke for DBZA fans.
2) “I Need an Adult?”
“Um. I need an adult?”
-Gohan
Gohan’s constant need for a responsible adult is another running theme of DBZA. It all begins when Vegeta arrives, as he has no problem fighting a child, which sparks the first iteration of Gohan’s request for an adult. That he had to say it once is funny enough, but it was just the beginning.
Gohan had to say to call for an adult again just a few episodes later, when Krillin mentioned a plan to get Gohan to Kami Guru’s place, so that he could unlock Gohan’s hidden potential. Had he phrased things this way, he probably wouldn’t have scared Gohan (for the second time). Unsurprisingly, Gohan finds himself wanting a responsible adult when he comes across Kami Guru. Poor guy just can’t catch a break.
1) “I Am The Hype!”
“I AM THE HYPE”
-Vegeta
If there’s one thing that DBZA absolutely nailed, it’s Vegeta’s anger management issues. In other words, this character is still screaming as much as one might expect, if not more so. The series is famous for taking the core archetype of specific characters and running with it. So Vegeta is (somehow) even more arrogant, angry, and haughty. It’s quite the achievement, really.
A lot of this comes to a head when Trunks hits the scene, for obvious reasons. His son may start star-struck at finally getting to meet his father, but that shine wears off fast. It isn’t long before Trunks questions Vegeta, asking if even he believes all of his hype. We all know what line comes next.
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